It Does A Body Good

So apparently I’ve been hearing recently that milk actually doesn’t.  Statements like these hurt me.  Do you mean to tell me that years of Got Milk? ads, Does A Body Good commercials, and general family legend have all been lies?

“Dude,” my friend told me, “milk isn’t made for humans.”  ”What the hell are you talking about?” I was about ready to kick him in the face.  ”It’s for calfs.  For baby cows.  If you want to drink milk you should be drinking breast milk.  That’s for humans.”  ”You need to stop now.  That is so wrong.”  ”But even breast milk is only for children–not adults.  There’s a reason you stop once you get old enough.  You don’t need it.  You don’t need milk.”  I could feel the very fabric of the universe slowly tearing.  ”I hate you.  Stop ruining my life.”

So in light of this revelation: all you need to get through the average Los Angeles day.

These drinks’ existence are probably somewhat contradictory.  But I love them both equally.  Like precious children.  I’m sorry this post has absolutely nothing do with anything of consequence.