WTF 4

When you’re eating at the Bellagio, you need to do it right.  Plate 1: prime rib lightly doused in sauce, crab cake, two slices of smoked salmon, pork tenderloin, mushrooms tossed in garlic and butter, and finally: steamed asparagus.  I have other pictures but I’ll spare you the pain.

Do you know what has always baffled me?  Why the hell do people say they don’t want to eat asparagus because it makes their pee smell?  Wtf?  Did your pee smell any better before you ate asparagus?  I don’t like the way urine smells, whether I’ve eaten asparagus or whether I’ve eaten roses (and I’ve eaten roses before).  It doesn’t make a difference.  Pee smells.  Always.

And why are you smelling your pee anyways?  Don’t you hold your breath when you can anyways?  You know recently I’ve found myself in a pickle when it comes to breathing out of your mouth when you’re in the bathroom.  At a very early age I discovered that I could avoid the terrible stench of the school bathrooms by breathing through my mouth instead of my nose.  But it wasn’t until recently that someone informed me that part of the way you smell is through small particles of the object entering your nostrils.  That’s when my mind started connecting the dots and the horror started to build.  If that was true, I might not be smelling the urine and stool of countless people but instead sucking their residue straight into my mouth!!!  Wtffff?

So what do you do when you’re stuck in the bathroom from hell and you don’t have the capacity to hold your breath like a freakin’ whale?  One time I dropped a deuce that was downright evil and when I tried not to breathe until I stepped out the bathroom I damn near popped a blood vein.  It doesn’t work!  What’s the answer?  Are you doomed to simply pick your poison?  Someone needs to do a reputable study about the quantifiable effects of breathing in the smell of pee/poo through your nose vs. breathing it through your mouth.  God knows less practical studies have been performed.  Wtf.

Good Urth

Urth Caffé | West Hollywood | w/ Stephen Matsuoka

When you’re fighting for a dream the little extras in life are that much more wonderful.

I. Love. LA.

I’ve been learning to be thankful for all the little things in life.  Most of the time, it’s the little things that make life worth living.  Don’t ever take things for granted.  You never know if you won’t see it again.  Kiss your mother.  Grab coffee with a friend.  Drive to Lake Arrowhead.  Chat with a stranger.  Eat food that blows your mind.  Spend an afternoon with a homeless man.  Leave him with a $10 bill instead of a $1 and eat the next meal at home.  Make a movie.  Appreciate the special people around you.  Give them random gifts.  Receive the ones they give without guilt.  Sometimes it’s harder to receive than to give.

I’ve already said you don’t have to pay like a king to eat like one.  The Hat proves my point.  SGV’s finest establishment brings you truly the best in heart-stopping fun.  Their claim to the best pastrami in town is unchallenged.  Let me warn you–it’s go big or go home here.  None of that weak stuff here!  A single order of the chili cheese fries (which is a must have) can feed four people.

Hustlers.  My friend Sam Kim changed my tipping habits.  Ever since he worked at a restaurant he realized that with all the hard work that comes with food service there is not much monetary compensation.  Tips, he told me, were pretty much the only thing that made anything worthwhile and after that experience he’s always sure to leave at least 20%.  Don’t be stingy with your tips ya’ll.  A laborer is worthy of his wages.

Excuse me.  ”The Best in the World.”  Oh hell yeah.

Pastrami Burger.  Woooooooow.

WTF 2

I was swinging by the shop Wednesday for some last minute shots of the 3sixteen x Sabrevision shades for an upcoming lookbook.  One of Ian’s (founder/owner of El Mercado) buddies Josiah stopped by with a pie from his dad’s pizza joint (Z Pizza) and a sixer of the most amazing brew I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Greatest.  Name.  Ever.  If you like dark lager, it’s not half bad.

TGIF